American Horror Story – Episode 8 – Blessed Bullets and Enemas

All Ryan Murphy shows get a little wonky in the middle.  He has a lot of great ideas and usually by the end they’ve all together, but generally right around this point it’s a bit of a mess.  Sadly, Coven is no exception.  The episode was uneven, but there were some highlights.

Not so much…

  • Zoe continues to be lame.

Can we just be done with Zoe?  I mean I know no one dies on this show, but can we just kill her in some permanent way or she needs to become the Supreme and be a total badass.  Something needs to happen.  Right now she just bores me.

  • Patti Lupone is the worst.

Not a huge Patti Lupone fan.  My wife was unable to understand Sweeney Todd the first time we saw it due to her unintelligible singing, and I have yet to forgive her.  But really I don’t think any actress could have pulled off that incredibly awkward scene.  I mean what is Ryan Murphy trying to say about single mothers? (I’m sure he’s not trying to say anything it just seems weird that both single mothers abuse their sons, sexually or emotionally.)

 Love it!

  • Misty finally joins the Coven!

Even though Lily Rabe’s accent makes me want to stab my inner ears with a sharpened candy cane (seriously has she never met a Cajun person?!) I enjoy Misty Day and am happy to get her out of the swamp and interacting with people other than Zoe.

  • Fiona’s Attempted Murder

I liked how this was handled, perfectly playing on all Fiona’s worst fears and deepest desires, but what I really loved was how Fiona was practically glowing with pride that her daughter witched up and started to become the badass we all know she is meant to be.

  • Patti LuPone dying

I giggled.  I know that makes me a bad person.  I also yelled at the TV when they brought her back.  Boo!

  • Head in a Box

I guess this was kind of spoiled on the cover of Entertainment Weekly a couple of weeks ago, but still a fun reveal.


An Open Letter to Ryan Murphy re: Glee Season 5

Dear Mr. Murphy,

Hello!  I was hoping we could have a chat about Season 5 of Glee.  Well not so much a chat I suppose since this is a letter, but more of a one-sided conversation where I tell you my unsolicited opinion.  This is the internet after all.  Firstly, I’d like to say that I think we are moving in the right direction.  We’ve gotten more into the New York storyline.  We’ve added characters there even though so far they’re all limited-arc guest stars.  We’ve started up a great friendship dynamic between Santana, Kurt and Rachel that is fun to watch and ripe with storylines that can be explored!  Our progress, however, seems to be lagging.  Especially in these past few episodes.  I mean I couldn’t even muster up the rage that I expected to be seething with after hearing that you were having a teacher perform “Blurred Lines” with his students.

This is most definitely not appropriate.

I read once somewhere that the show was originally intended to be just about the highschool Glee club with Mr. Shue and Sue as the only consistent characters to a revolving door of students.  I don’t know if that’s true, though I can see elements of it in what you have going on now.  The problem is: people don’t care about the New Directions.  People don’t care if the New Directions win Nationals.  People wanted Rachel and Kurt and Santana and Artie and Brittany and Quinn and all the other specific characters to win Nationals.  And they did.  They won Nationals and now that storyline is over.  I don’t care if they win it again.  Now I want to know what happened to all of the characters I fell in love with after they won Nationals and graduated.

And please no more puppets.

I realize it puts you in a bit of a difficult position, because half of your characters are still in school, but let’s speed the year along and graduate them already!  There is no need to stretch a boring storyline over two full seasons.  I’m going to be frank with you.  The new characters (except for Unique) don’t work.  They are generic caricatures and their storylines are boring.  Glee takes so many long breaks that it sometimes feels like multiple seasons within a season.  Set up graduation as a finale before one of these breaks and then jump forward in time a bit.  Flush yourself of the characters and storylines that are dragging you down and jump headfirst into the exciting and wonderful world that is New York in your early 20’s.

Especially if you are gay and sassy.

There was so much talk before Season 4 about how revolutionary the new setup was going to be.  Sadly, it was just talk.  There is only a season and half left of the show.  Do something revolutionary now.  Flip the show on its head and make it better.  I believe in you.