American Horror Story – Episode 5 – Burn, Baby, Burn

My favorite time of week is here again!  American Horror Story has made Wednesdays delightful and Laura’s well-deserved win yesterday (TEAM LAURA!!!!) has put me in an excellent mood.  So let’s get cracking, shall we?

WTF Moments

  • NOOOOOO SARAH PAULSON’S FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come on, Ryan Murphy, seeing Sarah Paulson in silk blouses, pencil skirts and pearls was such a treat after her drab outfits for the majority of last season!  Why do we have to scar her beautiful face?  At least now she can see how gross and lame her husband is.

  • The Seediest Hospital in all of New Orleans

What the hell was up with that hospital?  Having been to a few hospitals in New Orleans, I can say with 100% authority that all the lights work regularly, there aren’t boil-covered weirdos wandering the halls and they don’t leave bleeding mothers alone in their rooms with their still-born babies.  Well at least not all of them.

  • Zoe’s Outfits

Who the hell styles this girl?  Why does she have so many hats?  Once she becomes the supreme will her sense of style get better?  Is that one of the seven wonders?  Please.

Favorite Moments

  • LaLaurie’s Chamber of Horrors

Oh how truly despicable 1880’s LaLaurie is.  She is downright evil even to her own children, but Kathy Bates does an incredible job making 2013 LaLaurie sympathetic and actually almost likeable.  She is clearly a woman who spent 200 years in a box thinking about what she did.  I know I fangirled out last episode too, but I can’t get over what an amazing job she’s doing.  Bravo, Ms. Bates!  Let’s get you another Emmy before we talk about the Grammy and Tony that’ll round out your EGOT.

  • Zoe channels Ash

I’ve had a feeling that Zoe was the next Supreme (as was heavily implied in this episode) since the beginning, and, for the most part, I am not on board.  However, when she showed up with that chainsaw and started mowing down zombies with a ferocity that would make Bruce Campbell’s chin quiver with pride, I may have cheered a bit.  Let’s continue on this character development path, please.

  • Myrtle Snow Burns

Maybe it’s just Frances Conroy’s stint on this horrible season of How I Met Your Mother, but I was happy to see her burn.  The weirdly upbeat music didn’t help. My favorite part of this storyline though, was the twist that Fiona framed her using Queenie’s human voodoo doll gift.  Inspired writing.

  • Nobody really dies on this show…well except for Madison

I was hoping that Madison Montgomery would make a comeback (perhaps via Lily Rabe’s Stevie Nicks loving Cajun necromancer like Myrtle Snow), but I have to say I totally loved the moment with Spaulding where her arm came off.  I’m not sure if it’s building to something bigger or if it’s just a funny gag, but I’m looking forward to it popping up at least a couple more times before season’s end.


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