Line Cutting

Don't cut in line.  I just might cut your face.

Don’t cut in line. I just might cut your face.

So, the Animal Style Hurricane team (aka Jen and I) were in line for Space Mountain at Disneyland the other week. The line wasn’t too massive and it was actually moving pretty quickly. We were minding our own business and moving on up when we passed two tween girls standing to the side, obviously looking for the rest of their party. Multiple people had passed them by, and they were not paying attention, so we moved past them so as not to impede the rest of the traffic. Two minutes later, the tweens came pushing past, squealing their excuse me’s, and BLAM – stopped in front of us. Being the passive aggressive people Jen and I are when dealing with impolite strangers, we did what was logical – we formed a human barrier to prevent them from staying in one spot and cutting again, forcing them to stay in front of us and move with the line. Despite their desperate neck craning and whining to each other, the rest of their party never showed up, and they happily rode Space Mountain without them.

Screw you, Mom!  Goofy's watching us instead!

Screw you, Mom! Goofy’s watching us instead!

There needs to be some etiquette established in any line in any amusement park – do not cut. It’s an unspoken rule that’s been passed down since the beginning of amusement fairs in Medieval England, where you were booed out of line with a proper “Nay! Nay I say to thee! Thou shall stand amonst the others till thy turn is upon thee!” A mixture of food particles and feces were then thrown at you until you moved. Why this is no longer considered acceptable, I’ll never understand. I have waited in my place for a chance to experience whatever is at the end of this queue, so help me if you try to get in my way.

Michael-scott-no-god-no

Now, I understand if you’re standing in line and your dad ran out to grab you and your brother and your mom some drinks because it’s hot as balls outside. There are tactics you can use to steer the situation away from “cutting in line” to “waiting for a member of my party to come back.” You would be amazed at how a few simple tricks can get you from being the most hated person in line, to someone others may even try to help out.

1. Don’t assume people will give you your spot back…or even assume people will wait for you to realize the line is moving. People WILL pass you and will NOT be ok with giving you your spot back. Some are not as passive aggressive as Jen and I, and will make a public mockery of you and your heathen ways.

2. Use your cell phone. I know this may come as a surprise, but your phone isn’t just for Instagraming photos and Tweeting. This is the cell phone’s true purpose! To contact someone who is not in front of you! Text, call, use a pulsating flashlight (we actually saw someone using that technique) to get in touch with the person who is not in line. Those futuristic pocket communicators can be so handy sometimes.

3. Actually talk to the people behind you. “I’m sorry, I’m looking for my sister” is a way to get me to not stab you. Now I’m informed of your situation, and no longer feel that my head is blocking your view as you stand on tiptoe to see behind us. I may have even experienced a similar situation, and may even help you keep an eye out for her. Hell, maybe we’ll all go out for drinks after the ride and end up being the godparents to your sister’s baby. The point is, if you establish a human connection with the people behind you, you are no longer inconveniencing them, but are asking for their understanding.

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